Rant #2 Edy's No Sugar Added, Low Fat, Coffee Flavored Ice Cream

As a former fat ass (or fatter ass), I have an unnatural obsession with the foods that I consume. I am constantly calculating calories, fat (both saturated and unsaturated), sugar, salt, good carbs, bad carbs, the glycemic index, whole foods, processed foods, organic foods, etc. This is both time consuming and mentally exhausting.

Needless to say, a low fat, low carb, no sugar added, reduced sodium diet is also low in taste. (There are only 3 things that make food taste good: salt, fat, and sugar,....... so you see my dilemma). Given this, when I find something that fits the above criteria and still has some taste, I consider this a major accomplishment.

Which brings me to Edy's No Sugar Added, Low Fat, Coffee Flavored Ice Cream. I am sure without adding sugar and fat it's not really ice cream, but what ever it is, for what it is, it tastes great. It was one of the few food pleasures I could enjoy in my quest to fulfill all of the beauty standards set forth by balding white men on Madison Avenue.

As I was shopping at my local grocery store, I took notice that Edy's had reduced the container of ice cream from 1.75 quarts to 1.5 quarts, but the price was exactly the same! Now this is not a new practice. Many companies reduce amounts and it is very, very sneaky and underhanded. (the biggest offenders are ice cream, pasta sauces, and cereal). Companies count on consumers not noticing because the reductions are so small, and unless you read the label, most people don't notice. But because of my obsession, I read labels all the time. But I didn't even have to read the label on Edy's because my local grocer was kind enough to put the old packaging and the new packaging side by side to make it very easy for the customer to see they were being screwed out of .25 quarts of ice cream!

It goes without saying that I was livid. Why, you might ask, am I so upset now when this practice has been going on for so long and it involves so many other products? Frankly, it's because I don't eat those other products! I very rarely buy prepackaged foods, and I really don't think farmers are conspiring to secretly shrink the size of an ear of corn or acorn squash.

I complained to everyone who would listen. I went on about it so much that I got a call from CBS Marketwatch to do an interview! Finally, my day had come! I was to go on national television and get the folks over at Edy's told once and for all!! (did I mention this was national television? prime time baby!) I was going to expose their little scam and shame them into giving me back my .25 quarts of coffee ice cream and make them apologize to the public for their deceit.

And so I give my seething interview chastising Edy's, but it was overshadowed by John McCain suspending his campaign and running back to Washington to solve our financial crisis.. (I wonder how that turned out...). I never heard from Edy's. I suspect they didn't give a damn. They didn't even send me a lousy coupon. I admit, I still eat Edy's coffee ice cream, but now I only buy it if it is on sale and I have a coupon, therefore I eat it way less often than I use to, which is actually a good thing for both me and the boys on Madison Ave.